Saturday, December 18, 2010

harrowing from her

i saw the sun sit within, an otherwise empty sky, unlit, yet forgiven.....rise....above and steep below....I seek salvation while trying to grow....

i watched ravens rant, taunt, twist and turn me......their rabid tale and crooked screams....they startle me, yet, a teacher, they've become....the deeper i dive the more i survive, discover, uncover and descend...but this brings life to..my.... horrors....blending blood and breaking bravery then deciding to drift in silence...silently off to sea.....

i felt forces from falling trees, break and buckle my knocking narrow knees....forever.....feeling far from free.....

ending moments are meaning more....because I feel like less....frailness from before this....

Skating on ice, which glares its glaze...a reflection of failures, fall-shorts, meager todays...folding a fabric for tomorrow's tease....

in the darkest of nights...underneath street lights...the shadows stalk hungry...

trees, sprout angry and gangly limbs, branches bare blackness and boast poetically, vacancy...in leaves, leaving the roost.....surely, and soon, a scratch will score...their sidewalks which balance and judge beneath my feet...this season will repeat.....

sometimes i wonder if they feel their own cold like I do...my thoughts, rhythms and patterns.....too....they...branch, agree, distrust and give in to..growing old....

Friday, October 29, 2010

Daydreaming My Funeral

falling faces fall forward, with fallen emotions....each one folded and tucked away for a future moment

eyes, straight yet narrow, sit with a slight squint, in pain...a hint...

sunken brows align and aim like cross-hairs targeting a deeper power...begging with desire to understand why death defines us at the time of her hour

you are father for your death...earth, wind, fire and rain will be your new breath...
I fall to my father, letting salt, soil, and sand absorb me, forever in time, the world will continue....but behind....

"He walked in shoes....weathered and worn..." were the first words crumbling away, at the staggered brick walls of....my funeral day.....

Sunday, September 19, 2010

cutting confidence

Knives pierced through the plaster ceiling as she walked into the bedroom....with heels denting the hardwood floor, the entrance was unnerving and startling. Living in a colony...populated by one, mentally unkempt and forced to move in ways that defy nature......what is left is a sparse puddle of emotion, blank and fleeting with the remains of the day.....

every word is forced and fingers are crossed.....praying forward, in hopes of an end.....even if that steers backward, in direction...anything to move towards empty....

every corner was backed into....safety remained foreign

escape was not possible...hands and knees would be a pleasant option, but emotionally, ...when you are bleeding, there is nothing to bleed/lean on....it has to flow.

pointing at this paper with pain...I see a clean slate on the next page, unwritten but unsure and scared to turn to it...as I fear the truth will continue to spill and fill...me...with sadness.....

Saturday, September 18, 2010

I fell between the cracks when I felt five...I stared up at the world ever since.

The world above me, motion, energy, life, death....I feel free in some of these moments....others...I simply cannot breathe.

The air down here is void of any truth, way or freedom...breathing nothing causes my confidence to collapse.

Lungs in a begging posture, flex, but are sandwiched between the river's flow and a rock's resistance...compression...an uncomfortable existence.

I must learn to deflate, dislodge, drift....and float again.......