Sunday, September 19, 2010

cutting confidence

Knives pierced through the plaster ceiling as she walked into the bedroom....with heels denting the hardwood floor, the entrance was unnerving and startling. Living in a colony...populated by one, mentally unkempt and forced to move in ways that defy nature......what is left is a sparse puddle of emotion, blank and fleeting with the remains of the day.....

every word is forced and fingers are crossed.....praying forward, in hopes of an end.....even if that steers backward, in direction...anything to move towards empty....

every corner was backed into....safety remained foreign

escape was not possible...hands and knees would be a pleasant option, but emotionally, ...when you are bleeding, there is nothing to bleed/lean on....it has to flow.

pointing at this paper with pain...I see a clean slate on the next page, unwritten but unsure and scared to turn to it...as I fear the truth will continue to spill and fill...me...with sadness.....

Saturday, September 18, 2010

I fell between the cracks when I felt five...I stared up at the world ever since.

The world above me, motion, energy, life, death....I feel free in some of these moments....others...I simply cannot breathe.

The air down here is void of any truth, way or freedom...breathing nothing causes my confidence to collapse.

Lungs in a begging posture, flex, but are sandwiched between the river's flow and a rock's resistance...compression...an uncomfortable existence.

I must learn to deflate, dislodge, drift....and float again.......